Updated: 5 days ago
I'm taking my performance career in a new direction that feels like coming home.
I've been doing a lot of processing of a lot lately, and I think it's time for me to put Dickie Rebellion to rest. I've grown and matured a lot since I started performing, and I don't feel connected to that character anymore. Honestly, I created Dickie at a time when drag was my only source of affirmation of my queerness, and also the only way I knew how to access a feeling of belonging within the St. Louis LGBTQIA+ community. I was young and naive, and severely struggled to set healthy boundaries. Quite frankly, looking back on the unhealthy amount that I parentified myself during my pre-pandemic drag career feels embarrassing to me now.
I'm also trying to be gentle with myself though, because I know how much I relied on drag to get me through some really intense, difficult situations. At times, drag felt like an emotional lifeline. Drag is how I've kept myself and my fur babies fed and housed when I've been between day jobs. I've always tried the best I could in any situation I'm in, and it makes sense that I'd end up in such a codependent relationship with my drag.
I have also learned the hard way that it isn't healthy for me to be getting such a large portion of my self-worth and sense of belonging from show bookings and audience applause, though. And I'm thankful to be more regularly engaging with community as my human self these days.
Know that I am incredibly thankful for the positive experiences I've had as Dickie over the last 6 years, but I've also experienced some seriously traumatizing sh*t during my time playing this character. I've accepted that letting go of Dickie Rebellion is a difficult but necessary part of my own healing process.
In honor of the first name I ever gave myself, I'd love to reintroduce my drag-sona as Twinkle (they/he). If we know each other well enough, you can even call me Twink for short ✨
The stage name Twinkle is an ode to my first username on AOL Instant Messenger in the early 2000s. Twinkle is a Virgo sun and Virgo moon who performs tap dancing drag with the intention of healing their inner child and making their younger self proud.
Now that I think of it, I probably should have seen this drag name change coming when I was hyperfixating on rhinestoning my tap shoes last year.