Everything really is everywhere all at once.
The good news: I am very fully committing myself to building healing community through creative embodied expression - Direct Motion is officially an LLC with its own EIN and everything! The bad news: It was easier for me (someone with ADHD, C-PTSD, and Bipolar II who's been off their prescribed stimulants for months now) to legally create a business, than it now would be for me to start accessing a form of life-saving trans healthcare in Missouri. How's that for life containing multitudes? I'm finding myself renewedly angry about every time I was told I was overreacting and working myself into a panic over nothing. This new legislation puts trans adults in a catch-22 making it virtually impossible to gain access to hormone therapy, a medication that alleviates gender dysphoria and saves lives. Y'all wanna know what my big scary trans agenda is? To survive as long as I can and build something of a legacy that I can leave behind to make the world a happier, kinder, healthier, brighter place. To be a possibility model for the queer kids who don't see a future where they live until adulthood. I am simply trying to earn my living doing what I love and spend as much time as I can with the people that I love as I can, while I'm still here. Because as much as I like to joke about Dickie morphing from Embarrassing Vacation Dad to Unhinged Sexy Grandpa, sometimes I really do feel elderly outside of drag too. Not just in the "special interest in dad rock" way, but in the "I don't know how much time I have left in this realm" way. So I'm trying to make the most and do as much as I can within this shortened trans life expectancy! Laws like these are why my trans siblings are dying too soon! I didn't ask to be born & I didn't ask to be trans, but I will not be any less proudly nonbinary regardless of what happens to my HRT. I am nothing if not good at existing out of spite, and I'm choosing to hold onto the hope that exists in connection with our community. Trans friends: please remember that our government's refusal to see and respect our inherent humanity, dignity, and worth is NOT a reflection of us or our truth. Do what you can to access and prioritize self and community care right now, and try not to get too caught up in the doomscrolling Cis friends: I accept tips @/$ mackslashdickie on the apps, and patron tiers are now available on my website at www.mackmercury.com/directmotiondance. You'll be ~helping a nonbinary in need~ get their hot water turned back on and update their car registration while they figure out some next moves for healthcare access.